Nikki M. Pill

Words written: 169. But that’s not the real news.

Total words: 24,821

Pages: 67 of 93

Reason for stopping:   Time to feed the cats and get ready for work

Darling du Jour:   “So you’re a profiler now?”

            I took a deep breath to suppress the shout building in my chest. “No. But I do know what I saw at the theater – that killer was graceful, and clean. No struggle. Not one wasted move. Glen was an ox. He’d smash end tables, give her a black eye, grab her arms until they bruised and shake her. It doesn’t make sense.” 

Mean Things:  Witnessing a kiss

Jury-rigging:  I <3 Scrivener. I tinkered around with the plot outline cards and had my structural epiphany. I figured out how to keep an intense place while keeping the character arcs intact, and making the love interest even more complicated.

Inspiration du Jour:   Jay Lake

Sadly, no new word count today — under the gun to submit info for a conference presentation I’ve been invited to do in September. However, last night, as I was driving to teach dance & yoga, I was struck by an idea. Then another. Then another — and all of them (I think) will be edge-of-the-seat “OMG THE KILLER IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!” moments for the audience.

Then, on the way home, I had another idea for a conversation between Anna and Genevieve that will hopefully get a few laughs.

These are all ideas for Book 2 — possibly Book 3. I rarely get so many ideas in one day (seven!) so it was a powerful affirmation. I did take the time to put them down in my project notepad today so I’ve got them in writing. That counts, right?

Show up. Do the work. Then the Muse knows you’re paying attention, so he’ll trust you to catch the ideas he lobs at you. I think the time and work I’ve put into staying positive and creative is paying off!

Thank you, Siri, for being so good with the voice memos. I was on 94 at the time. Texting while driving is just crazy, I would’ve been late if I found an exit to pull over and jot everything down, and I would’ve either (a) been anxious about forgetting or (b) actually forgotten the ideas. Technology can be a real PITA at times, but at others, it’s pretty awesome.

Facing some pretty bad anxiety today. I didn’t want to write. I decided, though, that the events precipitating the anxiety can’t get the better of me — I can’t let them take this writing away from me. And now I’m so glad I did write, because things are getting fun.

He’s escalating…

Words written: 1027!

Total words: 21,178

Pages: 79

Darling du Jour: I gave her a hug and her thin body started shaking against mine, heaving with sobs.

            I don’t know why I opened my eyes.

            I don’t know why I looked over her shoulders.

            I saw Jeremy at the back of the theater. He opened the door to the sound booth and closed it abruptly. He leaned back against it, one hand over his mouth, one over his stomach. I couldn’t see his face from stage – not with the lights on me and him a fuzzy figure in the back of the theater – but I knew it was a mask of shock.

            I knew where Michelle was. 

Fail du Jour: As soon as I sat down to write, Romer barfed. I got up and cleaned it up. Half an hour into the writing session, Grimmy started crying about the loneliness and injustice he faces. I got up and petted him. #catwaxfail

Mean Things: He’s escalating. He’s discovered wounds. He likes them.

Jury-rigging: I have to refer to the wireless sound system earlier in the book, or this scene won’t work.

Also, ZOMG HE WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!! 

Words written: 1026!!!!!

Total words: 11, 438

Pages: 42 <snerk>

Reason for stopping:   End of chapter and end of allotted writing time. I wanted to knock off at quarter til, reasoning that I had a blog post to write, but pushed through when I checked the wordcount. 612 didn’t seem like enough. Go me!

Darling du Jour:  I could have eaten a bucket of the trout and bacon dip. Every bite of the rich salt-and-cream flavor on the smoky, crusty bread was worth the hours I’d spend on the treadmill the next day. 

Fail du Jour: Still lots of cliche/infodump in the First Date.

Mean Things:  No matter how impassioned I was about women taking charge of their own sexuality, the first date always confounded me. 

Jury-rigging: NONE. And ladies and gentlemen, the ground is set for the Seed of Doubt to sprout. It looks innocuous, but it’ll be important in a few chapters.

Woohoo!

My short story “Inner Potential” is officially published in Midnight Street Magazine. My first fiction credit since 2008!

It’s been a tough week of wrestling with plot and stakes. Today, though, I had two breakthroughs (thank you, Donald Maas!).

1: I have figured out the moment at which the audience realizes the Awful Truth about the Big Bad Wolf. Whether or not we apprehend BBW in book 1 or book 3 is still up in the air, but I decided it’s better if the audience lives with the dread for a while.

2. I have figured out a great way to up the stakes early in Book 1 — a real “punch in the gut” moment for poor Anna. I cannot WAIT to write that scene.

The Wolf is smart, resourceful, patient, organized, and slick. Worst of all, he wants everything to be perfect for the object of his affection — which involves a lot of practice. Eeek.

I’ve spent the past week reading about serial killers, as well as mulling over the different thrillers and crime dramas I’ve read and watched. Today I compiled the general list of things that I think I’ll need to know about my villains. This may be the first time I’ve posted something I consider rougher than a draft, because this is sort of the pre-draft chaos.

Type: Organized or disorganized

Subtype: Serial killer (sadist? sexual sadist?), mass murderer, spree killer

Selection:Availability, vulnerability, desirability (do they have something he wants? Does he feel the world owes him something?)

Triggers: Appearance, date, impulse, urges. Does he attempt to stop himself? Is he aware of his compulsion? Motives can change between or even during murder — can be complex. May have multiple motives.

Thrill: What thrills him? Chase, capture, torture, moment of death, taboo, almost being caught

Target: Impulsive or stalking? If stalking, how long and with what methods?

Location/comfort zone: What makes the locations of his victims attractive? Does he take them somewhere else? Determined by home, work, or other location of significance. Territory may expand over time.

Approach: Blitz attack, ruse, or trusted acquaintance

Control: How does he keep control — through fear of something happening to another party, a weapon (firearm or no?), restraints? Where he keeps them — practicality of it (others nearby that can hear it?)

Ideology: Fancies himself a connoisseur or artist? Delusions (religious, political, other)? Taking out the trash? Thrill-seeking? Hates self for it?

Method: Strangulation, drowning, shooting, blunt force trauma, poison, pathogen, defenestration, exsanguination, dismemberment, decapitation, torture, suffocation, burial, vehicular, neglect

Occupation: Determines time & resources

Family: Also determines time & resources. Camouflage.

Means of obtaining supplies: if he keeps supplies on hand or changes methods

Trace evidence: Fluids (condom usage?), fingerprints, fibers, bite marks, hair, skin underneath fingernails, serial numbers on items

Disposal: Hides the body or displays it. Moves it from kill site? Conveys remorse or lack thereof. “Human garbage” or carefully tended. Signature. Trophy.

Level or narcissism or denial:

Relationship with law/media: Taunt? Fear? Pragmatic evasion? Contempt?

Evolve: Prior offenses? Often 1st kill is impulsive. Hesitation marks? Major stressor in life leading to first kill or new pattern? Gains confidence and perfects method.

Devolve: Time between murders decreases, organization and judgment devolves… Get cocky, take shortcuts? Stressor?

Misc traits: 

Sensation-seeking
Lack of remorse
Impulsivity
Need for control
Glibness
Superficial charm
Grandiose sense of self-worth
Pathological lying
Shallow affect
Lack of empathy
Failure to accept responsibility

Some cliches are based in truth, so I think I’ll make myself crazy if I resolve to avoid anything that’s close to cliche — especially in the Awful First Draft. However, I am bound and determined to avoid (a) unreliable narrators with dissociative identity disorder and (b) 2-dimensional shorthand motives like “abused person grows up to be serial killer.” If there is abuse in a killer’s background — which is certainly a trait they can share — then the killer will be a fully-fleshed, complex individual who has more to him than a past of abuse.

Misc: I posted a snippet of writing, and Jay Lake said it made him really laugh. Squee!!

Post-show ennui and post-short-story ennui are over. I declare it is so. I decided that I’d spent September plotting and crafting the Exciting New Story Idea, and kept my word.

State of the Honeydew:

The Tease: Plot & craft in Sept, write Awful First Draft Oct-Jan. Let it gather dust in Feb, revise in March, send to Trusted Readers in April. Second revisions in May, Draft 2 out in June, final revisions July or August.

The Mythos Story: Gathers dust in Sept, revisions in Oct, to Trusted Readers in November (yes, Dragon, you), revisions in December-January. Back out in February, final revisions April/Mayish. Start submitting.

“Gravedigger’s Daughter”: Currently gathering dust. Round 2 of revisions Dec-Jan, back out to Trusted Readers in February, final revisions April/Mayish.

Chaotic Water: Yes, I’m picking it up again. I’ll start revisions in Feb-March while the above-mentioned stories are out to Trusted Readers, send it out any standing Trusted Readers in April/May, and finish revisions June/July.

Words written:  Dunno. A few scribbled pages in my journal.

Pages: 4, though some were notes on research about serial killers.

Mammalian Assistance: I woke up to a gravelly “meooooow” in my ear. Opened my eyes. My alarm clock said 6:00, which means I overslept by one hour, and Romer’s snout was about an inch from my nose. I sat up and blinked a few times. Romer curled up against my pillow in the nice warm spot my body had made. Thanks, kitty.

Darling du Jour:  I think I might have his signature, and how someone confuses it.

Fail du Jour: I know my protagonist’s stage name (Velvet Crush) and what she looks like, but not her real name.

Mean Things:  Can’t say without giving it all away.

Look out, suspense-thriller-trilogyland. I’m here.

Words written:  1,246

Total words: 4,904

Pages: 9

Reason for stopping:   fini!

Darling du Jour:  ”He smelled like rain and leather and a hint of soap – so reassuringly human after the smell of air conditioning and old liquor and Citronella. His fingertips deft brushed her hair from her neck and she thought Forgive me, not sure if she was asking Gil or Vic or herself, forgive me but this softness, this warm and alive while Vic has an arm around the trainee waitress, not in his right mind I know but in the wake of that cold dark figure, taking this comfort, I’m not the strong one, if this is the end just let it happen please. “

Fail du Jour: (ngelic? Sweet?)

Mean Things: The single most blood-curdling death I’ve ever written, before the calamari is even battered.

Jury-rigging: Lots of slapdash in this one. It was clear the end was happening today — even went an hour over my allotted writing time to do the end. The stakes aren’t quite high enough and some things come out of nowhere. Ah well. The magic of editing will take care of it.

Still a ways to go — but after the story gathers dust for a month and I have perspective. For now:

Words written:  1114. I’m hearing a piece of classical music that is very famous and I can’t remember what it’s called. But you know the one, with the heavy strings, duh-duh-duh-DUNH, 1114. (Don’t ever tell my father in law I can’t remember. Oh, the lectures and CDs in my future if he knew…)

Total words: 3,171!

Pages: 6

Darling du Jour:  Wife. Jacy’s face burned. Wife, you bitch.

Fail du Jour: None, actually. A pretty good day.

Mean Things:  ”A gentleman is a man who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn’t.” — Tom Waits

Jury-rigging: [Note to add at the beginning: waitress is a trainee. ]

Misc: Last night I started wondering… I put a lot of time into watching serial killer stuff. So why don’t I write any? I started wondering about it, and I got a bud of an idea… and then wondered why I don’t write about dance or yoga, and the idea bloomed, and now the whole thing is there except for the killer’s signature.

It would be very, very risky for me to release a suspense/thriller as my first novel when I’m a fantasy writer. I could gain and lose a fan base in the space of 2 books. Or I might like it and write in both genres. But I have a good feeling about this one. It’s actually making me eager to finish this story so I can get on with the next one. I can’t evern remember the last time I felt that.